At the time of my diagnosis, our four children were 7 years of age and younger. My youngest was 3 months old. My husband and I decided that we would share my diagnosis and treatment plan with our children once we had the results of my scans and knew how to explain my treatments and prognosis. It was about 5 days from my initial primary provider appointment to biopsy results (and I am extremely lucky as I know for some this can takes months). The waiting during those days was incredibly heart-wrenching because we knew something was wrong, but we didn't know what the next step was. Our eldest naturally was the most aware of the tension in our household, and he had so many questions that we weren’t ready to answer yet. Finally, we sat on the floor of our living room and told them that Mommy had a “boo boo and that the doctors were going to give me medicine that would make me tired, sick and make my hair fall out but get rid of the boo boo."  My kids helped me shave my head, then my husband and four boys shaved their heads too. Later, my one son told me that I looked like a boy! My kids enjoyed that they could call cancer “bad words” that they weren’t allowed to use normally like “dumb, stupid and hate”.

I drove my three older children by the cancer center on a weekend so they could see where I receive care. My oldest son and I just started virtual online piano lessons together around the time I got sick. Through the large windows of the architecturally beautiful cancer center you can see a grand piano in the lobby. When my eldest child saw the piano, he said “Oh, that’s where my piano teacher works too”. To which I replied, "Of course, and Angels work there too and they are going to save Mom's life." 

We contacted our children's school principals, counselors and teachers as soon as we knew the plan. I worked with a lactation consultant to wean as quickly as possible before starting chemotherapy (a lot of cold cabbage leaves). It was difficult to share the news with others, so I had a dear friend help me (almost like a public relations assistant or wedding planner!). I knew that I would need a village so I told family, friends, neighbors, teachers, church members, pediatricians, coaches, work colleagues and patients. We all handle things our own way, but it felt easiest to let everyone know. The loving community that watched, fed and held our family literally and figuratively was one of the most beautiful blessings of cancer. Cancer is terrible, we all go through difficult things, and we are here to help and hold each other.